Hello Walter's the name
The lady of the house has been routing about in the Charity shop again and bless her heart she rescued me from the shame of being reduced.
Apparently it was my face that made her heart go all oooooh. When she spotted my reduced label she had me turned this way and that trying to see why they would do such a thing to such a handsome chap as myself.
I mean what's not to love about this face? Eh?
Then she spotted this wee toadstool and she thought it would make a nice arrangement with the big one she already had at home.
So off we both went to a new home full of weird and wonderful things. The woman has heads on her mantlepiece you know? Not real, used to be attached to a body kind of heads but a glass one and a budda one and the like. Strange really but I'm too much of a gentleman to say such things out loud - oops!
Unfortunately the wee toadstool has since been consigned to the box in the hall waiting to go back to the charity shop. She says it's just not right and then starting mumbling something about not keeping too much clutter anymore, in, out, loved, used. I think she might be a bit odd but she's my hero and I now have a lovely new home in her fancy new bathroom. You should see it apparently it's not finished cos the man who did it STILL hasn't come back to fit the fan - yeah she went off on one of her rants again. Bless her.
Anyway nice to meet you, best be off. I can hear her coming down the stairs with yet another full bin bag. She obviously means business with this de-cluttering lark, I best keep in her good books.