Thursday, 28 May 2009
Ok the reason for my wee disappearing act? Well him indoors and I have split, it has been a tough couple of months especially as we did not want to tell the kids for a while as big one had her exams at school. And we needed to get our own heads into some sort of order. Telling them was hard but it is now done. I could not share with you beforehand as big one sometimes likes to wander over her and take a peek at what I've been talking about.
I may still be jumping in and out of the blogging world for a wee while to come.
Sunday, 17 May 2009
For now know that I appreciate everyone who takes time out of their day to come visit me and leave me comments. I will be back when the sun comes back out in my world. xxxx
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play
and either take music
or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
and complete science projects,
cook, do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.
In addition, each man
will have to budget in money
for groceries each week..
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out
on time--no emailing.
Each man must also
take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.
He must make
one unscheduled and inconvenient
visit per child
to the Urgent Care.
He must also
make cookies or cupcakes
for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside
and keeping it presentable
at all times.
The men will only
have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.
The men must
shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn himself with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished
and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severeabdominal cramps, back aches,
and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or
slow down from other duties.
They must attend
weekly school meetings,
church, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon
at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to
read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,
feed them, dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair by 7:00 am ..
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
shoe size, clothes size
and doctor's name.
Also the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite colour,
biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island
based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years
eventually earning the right
To be called Mother!
After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as you
think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can
Just don't send it back to me.... I'm going to bed.
This may be the best Living Will I've Seen
I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
These classified ads were really put in the paper
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE ..
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
And the best one:
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. £200 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows it all!
Friday, 8 May 2009
Or maybe I should pin this guy on to their doors.
Hopefully I'll get a night out tonight with my friend and we can have a good giggle, that usually is a good fix. To anyone that has got to the end of this post without their ears bleeding (or especially if your ears are bleeding) have a great weekend. ;)
Even more :( now. Night out is cancelled cos my mates 17 year old son has chickenpox.
Monday, 4 May 2009
The book was great, dark and scary in that good way that keeps you reading on.
The film.....well it was roughly the same story but of course it had the whole Hollywood treatment - an extra character, bits added, bits missing.
But all in all it was a fun film and because it was a preview it was in 3D which of course the smalls loved. That and the pop and the sweeties :)
I really need to get on top of myself, the kids have been off school for a very long weekend with the Bank Holiday. They finished school last Thursday afternoon and don't go back until Wednesday morning. All for one Bank Holiday!!!! Anyway no bedrooms have been tidied, no very very late packages have been put in the post blah blah and a big bleurgh too. I need the sun to come back out and recharge my very very depleted batteries.
Friday, 1 May 2009
Ok did anyone remember to jump out of bed this morning and go wash your face in the morning dew? I think if I'd even managed to drag my backside out of bed it would have been to much to expect a bit of dew to have any major effect on my face.
I've been looking at the customs in Britain and gawd we're historically a superstitious bunch.
The month of may was considered an unlucky month particularly for getting married.
'Marry in May and you'll rue the day'
Being born in May was thought to produce a sickly child.
Never buy a broom in May or wash blankets.
Wash a blanket in May.Wash a dear one away.
Cats born this month will not be good rodent catchers and even worse, will bring snakes into the home.
Unlucky days are 3rd, 6th, 7th, 13th, 15th and 20th.
Not sure why those days specifically are unlucky.
And it's not just the days in May that you have to watch out for but the weather also has its part to play.
"A wet May makes a big load of hay. A cold May is kindly and fills the barn finely. "
“A swarm of bees in May Is worth a load of hay.”
"Mist in May, Heat in JuneMakes harvest come right soon"
"If you wash a blanket in May;You will wash one of the family away."
"Those who bathe in May Will soon be laid in clay"
So basically don't get born, give birth, get married, buy a cat born this month, wash, clean or do any sort of housework in the marvellous month of MAYThe small people are off school now for their long weekend, infact they don't go back to school until Wednesday of next week. I'm hoping that I can persuade them to do a bit of tidying up in their rooms and that I can find a wee bit of time to knuckle down and get some over due parcels in the post.
Life leads us on lots of paths, some we choose, some we don't but it is important that we take the time to enjoy the journey. (Taz 2009)