Friday, 27 March 2009

Ladies keep an eye on your partners while out shopping.

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her
husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to
a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with
us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing! rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here"

I am still alive, the selection process wasn't too bad. The test were fine but I'm not too happy on how the actual interview went. But it was a good experience and even if I don't get the job at least I know that I do definately want to get back into the field I left and now I know I can do an on the spot presentation. :)


bekimarie said...

I'm sat here with tears streaming down my face, sooo funny!
Will be keeping my fingers crossed for the job for you, you certainly seem to have the right attitude though which is brill!
Have a good weekend hunni
Big ((hugs))
Beki xxx

LissyLou said...

So funny x

Menopausal musing said...

Just when I thought you couldn't top the "Jellyfish" story............ It's not fair to do this to me, when you get all menopausal, the pelvic floor starts to go...... Good news that you "did" your interview... Have been wondering about it. x

Lydia said...

Sooo funny! Made my day!

Hope you get the job - if not, then they didn't deserve you!


Pink Feather Paradise said...

Oh you are so funny, where do you find this stuff! I love it and I think its a shame people have lost their sense of humour, especially Tesco's!

if the job was meant to be it will be otherwise something even better will turn up when the time is right!

you went for it and that is the first step... well done you!

X Alex

Shabby Chick said...

Ha ha that's great!!! Hope you did better than you thought at the interview :)

Mel xxx

twiggypeasticks said...

If I didn't do my shopping online, I'd swear that was Mr Twigs in the Tesco store :) Good luck for the job, will keep everything crossed !
Twiggy x

Country Cottage Chic said...

Oh how funny - can you imagine it?